The eye’s perception of happiness fled, disappeared in the midst of all the horror dispersed infinitely throughout the mind. Nightmares bestowed upon me day and night, nothing left but a hollow glaze deep into reminisce. A melancholic vibe lingers up my spine, as if to paralyze any state of recovery. Beneath it all furry flows through every vein, hate and rage consume the mind. The heart – stoned near to death, yet beats in defiance of letting go – defeat is not an option. Though joy has deceased as of now and the memories of horror will not depart from haunting me, there is something better to grasp onto, at least there can be nothing worse. So I sit and ponder, must I let go of the numbing substance that avails happiness for true joy to prevail once again? Some may say so, I do not know for sure. All I know is this: that it would be an excruciating line to cross, for the horrific memories that were blotted out and drowned by the tainted glass await to plague me again in sobriety. Yet to feel love and joy is to feel pain and sorrow, never one without the other.